Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Liver function tests, brain function tests

We had a gastroenterology session this afternoon.  Those of you who are stalking me will know about my avoidance of all things gastroenterological, on the grounds that it's all basically the same anyway.  Or so it seems when you don't really know what you're talking about.

There was a station on interpreting liver function tests (LFTs).  We went into the room, the GastroGuy thrust some pieces of paper at us which had some abbreviations and numbers on them, and asked what questions we would ask a patient with these LFT results.  Now I find LFTs hazy at best so it was good to be part of a group.  Some of the other people came up with some good ideas and were doing splendidly until I opened my mouth due to my intense dislike of awkward silences.  This is how it went:

Esteemed Colleague #1
I'd ask if he'd taken a lot of paracetamol.

GastroGuy
I like how you're thinking.  Paracetamol overdose is important to consider, although these typically aren't the numbers you'd see in that situation.  What else?

Esteemed Colleague #2
Does he work on a farm with chemicals or fertilizers?

GastroGuy
Well, occupational chemical exposure is good to check, but there's no reason to limit it to farms.  What other sorts of jobs might be dangerous?

[Awkward silence.  Tension builds.]

PTR
Maybe he works in a paracetamol factory?

GastroGuy
Go and stand in the corner.

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