Saturday, July 24, 2010

Identity crisis

One of the really frustrating things about this year for me is that I don't really have one doctor who I consider to be my main teacher.  Sure, there is the guy who is supposed to sign all my forms but I don't actually see that much of him.  Which makes it a bit of a farce when he's supposed to give me feedback on my performance.  He certainly is generous with his opinions, but as far as I can tell they have only a tenuous connection to reality so I don't give them too much credence.  For example, last time he wrote on my feedback form (the one that goes to the university) that I was "sometimes in attendance".  Yes, I often don't turn up when the clinic is closed at night, or in my holidays, so I can see that I am lacking in commitment.  Not that I'm bitter about that.

So because I bounce randomly from doctor to doctor I find that I'm constantly having to bung on a bit of an act in order to avoid being scolded or patronized.  One doctor rebuked me for not knowing how to use the software to prescribe things for people, despite the fact that I won't be legally allowed to do so for several years yet.  Meanwhile another doctor brushes aside my questions about the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme because I won't need to know it in my next set of exams.  And one doctor sends me off to look things up in my books after every consultation, while another tells me off if he sees me opening a book during work hours because I should be using that time to harass patients. I still haven't managed to figure out some of the doctors.  I do what I think they want me to do but by mid-morning they turn to me and announce that it's just not working out and would I mind if they threw me out so they can continue alone.

The reception and admin staff are nice to me, but unfortunately I'm hopeless with names and I've only just figured out what some of them are called.  So I've spent the year merrily shouting out hello to the ones I do know and scurrying past the others with a quick, "Hey there!".

The only people that I feel that I can actually interact sensibly with are the patients!  Thank heavens for them.  Although why people insist on asking me if I'm going to specialize in something...  I wish I had a better answer than, "I'm just trying to get through this year."

[p.s. new poll up - vote now or your underarm skin will sag]

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